How Your Mule Will React
By Brandy Von Holten
Most trainers will tell you that your mule can only go up, down, left, right, forward, or backwards. Mules are spunky creatures and with them being all wheel drive, I am here to tell you the new and improved ways in which your mule can react.
Yabba Dabba Doo
In the Yabba Dabba Doo, there is an extreme amount of movement, but the mule doesn’t really go anywhere. Just like when Fred Flintstone went to take off in his car, his feet were moving but the car didn’t budge.
If you are one of the lucky individuals to have the opportunity to have a mule that does the football sprawl, you will probably stay in the saddle. This is when the mule gets scared and drops, but stays on its feet.
This is also the almighty 180, “oh heck no”, or the Suspended Rider. When your mule is so scared that it abruptly turns half a circle and starts back from where it came from before the spook, you just experienced Zero Gravity. This happens so quickly that the rider is suspended in the air and gets to think about the pain they are about to endure. Things get extra hairy when the mule decides to combine the Zero Gravity with the Carl Lewis.
Your mule should have been an Olympic Sprinter just like Carl Lewis! This is the runaway that has a secret turbo boost you were completely unaware existed. Mules are known for pairing the Carl Lewis with the Yabba Dabba Doo, Zero Gravity, or The 90!
The 90 is way easier to ride than the 180, but it all depends on if the mule stops after the turn! The 90 is a slight version on the “oh heck no” also referred to as the Zero Gravity. If your mule does not runaway with you, sometimes this will require that you do something called the Spider Monkey. This involves you doing whatever it takes to get yourself back into the middle of the saddle, using muscles that have been untouched since you fit into that old pair of jeans that you refuse to part with in your closet.
The “Van Halen” describes your mule that JUMPS! There of course are different versions for the Van Halen. The Peppy La Pew which is when all four legs come off the ground at one time just as Peppy La Pew did when he was courting the ladies. The NASA Space Launch is a jump that involves the mule thinking that it has to turn on the boosters and do the largest front leg only jump in order to survive! The NASA Space Launch creates some wonderful photo opportunities, unless it morphs into a very energetic Peppy La Pew.
No jump, no runaway, no spin, just a shuffle from where you were to four foot over either left or right. This can have the same effect on you as the Zero Gravity, which is known as a “Visit from Sir Isaac Newton”. You wanted to stay were you were at, but the mule moved and left you there.
Mules are always surprising us and are athletic to no end. Here’s to hoping you never have to find out what type of reaction is locked away inside of your mule!